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# Needing Money is Vulnerable, Especially as a Mom
- URL: https://lizalthouse.com/money-is-vulnerable-especially-as-a-mom-2/
- Published: 2026-10-13T02:34:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-22T18:31:10.000Z
- Author: Liz Althouse
- Tags: Mom Life, Momprenuer, Military Life, ASL & Interpreting, Boundaries

🎵 Look, I've always been an independent lady and no one can bring me down. 🎵

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/d7aec6f6f171607374b2065c836f92f4/74/01/pjPkfqzO.gif)

I've been working since I was 15\. Making my own money, doing my own thing, and figuring it out along the way. Enjoying my career as an American Sign Language Interpreter. Then I became a military spouse (paused my primary income).

> **Then a mom (woah, even after not wanting kids...?)**

And suddenly, the woman who had always found a way to make money had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/39f2394ae36df6e199be9eb7c9fa1012/d8/93/D32l4LRF.gif)

Here's the thing..  
I started working at 15, at a tennis shop. I've always worked and found a way to make my own money (honestly, always two jobs at a time). Heck, at 10, I saved for TWO YEARS, all my Christmas, birthday, and any extra lunch money, to buy a dog that ended up being my mom's... I was always the saver compared to my "spender" brother and got praised for that.

As I got older, I recognized the privilege I was surrounded by (middle class), and I only asked for help if I was truly in a pickle. Because I knew that help sometimes came with consequences, guilt, and payback with interest... and no one has time for that.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/d7aec6f6f171607374b2065c836f92f4/2b/1e/HlydsiDb.gif)

I made my own money and made own decisions. 20+ years later, I had to combat the idea that I could be comfortable with a partner "taking care of me (being equally invested)" without conditions. 

When I met my (now & forever) husband, he absolutely blew me outta the water because he's a gem and a gentleman who WANTED to pay for stuff. But it was like a bubble in my throat. It felt so vulnerable.

> Because **Money is vulnerable.**

I had spent my whole life figuring out how to take care of myself, and now someone else wanted to take care of me. And don't get me wrong, I loved that he wanted to. But accepting it? Pishposh, that was a whole different story.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/39f2394ae36df6e199be9eb7c9fa1012/27/60/HR68coZB.gif)

Talking to another person about finances, how much debt we both had, and what our future would look like. We both lived WELL below our means before marriage. We drove paid-off cars, and I carried about $14,000 in student loans.

Vulnerable. Icky.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/935d7ab9d8c6202580a668421940ec81/97/f8/iai84zBQ.gif)

We got married, PCS'd (military moving) to Texas because of the military, and everything I thought I knew about my life started changing. I left my job, had a hard time adjusting to the heat (because TEXAS), and honestly, I wanted something part time that brought me joy, and something that didn't come with so much pressure. 

I did a lot of therapy. A lot of questions asked and answered and just like that we were down to one income. BUT, I needed something to do. And, of course, I needed to feel like I was making my own money.

I used part of our savings to invest in starting a virtual assistant business.  
I was trying to figure out what I was good at, what people needed from me, and how I could make money doing something I actually enjoyed.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/a15b48460c436e1e92c85ffc680932cc/f7/94/vpp5kXcK.gif)

So I got a $10/hour job as a baker.  
And you know what? I loved it.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/35ccce3d852f7995dd2da910f2abd795/5f/78/zG6ccOpx.gif)

## ***Then we got pregnant.***   

WELP...Paused being the virtual assistant business, saved as much as I could from both our paychecks. I was tired, sick, had to take insulin for most of my pregnancy, and eventually left my baking job.

> **BOOM. Down to one income again.**

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/8ce8357c78ea940b9c2015daf05ce1a5/e8/3b/P6Qw51xH.gif)

But I started to get this sinking gut feeling I didn't want to go back to work.  
And then I gave birth to our daughter.  
Absolutely not. I did NOT want to leave her.

> **But* *I didn't want to stop working either.**

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/d7aec6f6f171607374b2065c836f92f4/3d/8c/hnBo7WSu.gif)

I had been working since I was 15\. Working was part of who I was. Making money, having something to do, being independent... that was ME.  
And now I was a mom.

A mom who wanted to be home with her baby but also wanted to work, make money, and have something of her own. I didn't know how to do it all.

I remember sobbing to my husband because I genuinely had no idea what I wanted to do anymore. I was so confused, I loved being a mom. I loved being home with our daughter. But I also felt like I was losing this part of myself that I had known for so long.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/d7aec6f6f171607374b2065c836f92f4/bf/b4/HBoXwBSG.gif)

And my husband, being the gem that he is, told me that if this was what I wanted to do, he supported me. And that was that.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/d7aec6f6f171607374b2065c836f92f4/e5/8c/ITTlE8hO.gif)

So, I stuck with being a virtual assistant. I honestly didn't think I would be in it for this long but I found some amazing clients, failed, pivoted 14x's, failed, and started to settle.   
  
And it's taken me this long to figure out what I want now.  
  
I don't feel bad about making money or having an income. It gives our family choices and I am ALL about choices. I want to know where our money is going, how we're using it, what we're building together and how I can get what I want.   
  
Let me be frank here, I've always enjoyed making money but my overwhelming maternal instinct is to protect my child and my family. Now I'm learning that maybe it's about having choices, understanding our money, and building a life that actually works for our family.

And more than anything, I want our daughter to grow up with two parents who TEACH her about money instead of hiding it away or using it to control her. Because I know what it feels like when money comes with guilt and strings attached. And I don't want that for her.

And I know I'm not the only mom.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/d6b0ce929193df3c242ac34b5654d2ce/8d/cb/SQ9MhD3J.gif)

I see moms asking all the time how to make money from home with their kiddos. How to afford daycare when it costs as much as a rent or mortgage payment. How to make one income work when groceries, diapers, and everything else just keep adding up.  
  
Not to mention the whole identity thingy  
We talk about who are you when you're not working the way you used to?  
What happens when you love being a mom but also miss the woman who had her own paycheck, her own career, and her own thing going on?

And here I am, four years later, figured out what I was good at, still working, and now building a community for moms who are in the same boat (not just business) because I don't believe being a virtual assistant is the only answer.  
  
And maybe I don't need to go back to the woman I was before becoming a mom.  
Maybe I get to figure out who I want to be now.

![](https://static.klipy.com/ii/2711dd8a75a85be822d136ec94899b3f/8d/80/LvdkYmdi.gif)

So, if you're a mom who's feeling a little lost between who you were before kids and who you're becoming, I get it. You can love your partner, adore your kids, want to be home with them, or want to work away from home AND still want to make your own money. Those things can all be true.

I don't want other moms to feel they're alone in any part of motherhood especially when it comes to providing for your family. I have a community starting January 11th, think about joining me!  
  
Till next time 🫶🏻  
Liz  

![Liz Althouse](https://storage.ghost.io/c/76/db/76dbf28f-48a7-4357-9ca4-73d109174ffa/content/images/2026/10/Liz-Althouse-_Logo.png)